Local emo so sensitive, yet also perceptive, calls me a “dickhead”…

yesterday one of my scandalous bitches stopped through and picked me up to go head downtown to get a cool beverage as it was a very hot afternoon. as we pull down the street, there were two meter spots opening up right next to us, so we pull forward in front of them, they empty out, and my bitch is doing an excellent job backing up as she attempts to parallel park. just as she gets her rear end into first spot - a green explorer comes whipping in and pulls all the way forward - coming inches from our bumper as we are all ready partially in the spot. the driver then proceeds to back up, stop in middle of two spots, then jerkily pulls forward again and parks in spot directly next to where we are stopped! as i don’ t stand for retarded behavior like this - i jump out the car to confront the driver about not paying attention - and here’s where my run-in with local emo begins…

this emo obviously not aware of his surroundings, fails to pay his meter, and starts sulking away from us - so i holler at him: “yo! that’s a real dickhead move you just pulled right here! my bitch here is trying to park - and you just whip in like that? you need to pay a bit more attention.”

as he tries to see me through the shaggy hair hanging over his face, slightly cupping his chin… “wha-wha-what do you mean?”

“uh, did you not notice our blinker, the reverse lights, and the fact that you swung in inches from our bumper? you need to pay way more attention bro…”

“i didn’t see you - and you don’t…”

“right, back to you needing to pay more attention to the people around you, so you don’t pull such dickhead moves.”

“HEY, you don’t have to be such a DICKHEAD about it!!!”

“YES, actually i do, cuz i am a DICKHEAD! all the fucking time - so it’s very natural for me to be a DICKHEAD about it - in the same way it’s natural for you not to pay attention and be so sensitive about it.”

the emo then calmly and softly looks at my bitch and says:

“i’m sorry, i didn’t see you…” then looks back at me as he stars walking down the street and continues to yell at me: “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SUCH A DICKHEAD!“

i remind him once again that i actually do, as it’s my nature - then we walk away as well. we head just down the block and get a tasty beverage, and as we are sitting inside the nice air conditioned gelato shop - we see emo walk by, in a very disheveled manner. we have a snicker about what a douche-emo he is, and continue on with non-emo conversations.

as we head back to the car, we found the emo has left the scene, which is a bummer because i was going to take a baseball bat i carry on me, and beat the shit out of his car screaming: “do you see what happens? when you fuck a stranger in the ass!?!?!” at the top of my lungs, over and over and over… however, we get distracted by a note that is on the windshield - and the story continues! we jump in the car and get the AC going, and fold open the note… now i have found most emo’s to be too sensitive to even express themselves - however, this one broke a barrier and verbally called me a dickhead - and even went as far as getting in the last word via a note! this emo is really breaking the mold - and here is where the story ends, see epic note below…

so i salute you - emo in the green explorer - breaking free and expressing your emotions. and i’m sorry, but NO, 50 cents is no consolation to us, and i don’t eat dicks. but i do hope that your expression of emotion by calling me a DICKHEAD and leaving a note will be of consolation to you in your emotional situation… oh yeah, and buy some mans pants, that might help you feel better too…

to all my emo homies - i still appreciate you - just don’t plan on trying to convert me to your ‘emo’ ways - i have already committed myself to being a ‘DICKHEAD‘.

Filed by ss on July 12th, 2008 under news..., blogroll